Introducing suburbschic

What is it with men over 30 & SEX?

2006-02-01T15:23:00.000-08:00

I have been back on the dating scene for about 7 months now...
But it took me until a couple of weeks ago to put 2 & 2 together...I am not an idiot...but there is definitely a pattern.
I have been on plenty of 1st, 2nd, 3rd+ dates...but SEX is a hot topic on the first date on...why is that?
I know that after a certain age we pretty much know what we like & don't like, don't get me wrong...I love sex! But it has now become necessary for me to ask what type of relationship they are looking for before I agree to go out on a date .
I am looking for a partner, my soul mate, my friend, the father of my child (because if possible, I would love to have another child) and yes my lover...not just a sex buddy!
I know that it is going to take time to find the one...but in the mean time I don't want to waste my time with the wrong ones.
So if there is anyone out there that can shed some light as to why sex seems to be the only thing on these men's mind...I would love to know!

My soon to be ex & his girlfriend

2006-02-01T15:07:00.000-08:00

I got a call about three weeks ago from my ex, he was asking if he was still on my insurance...I told him, of course not!
He told me that he was extremely depressed...
The next day I was talking to his ex best friend and he filled me in...
It turns out that my ex's girlfriend's husband found out about them and told my ex that if his wife wanted to stay with him, great! But that he was taking his kids with him...The idiot woman tried to commit suicide! I also found out that my ex had taken my daughters to her house and had spend three nights with her. Needless to say I was furious! Furious because he had made my daughters lie for him...
I called him and told him that it was no wonder he was depressed, that he probably wanted to check in so he could spend time with her...and his mother had to hear from me to because she covered for him.
Bottom line is my daughters were exposed to something that should have never happened and I had to have a really hard talk with them about lying to me and in general...
This has really affected my youngest daughter, her grades have dropped and her behavior at school has become an issue.
I went to divorce court on Monday, but because he is in the hospital they rescheduled for February 20th...hopefully I will be divorced by then.
I hate the fact that I still love my ex, and I feel for him. I love him in but not the kind of love that I use to have for him. If given the opportunity, I will never take him back. He made a fool of me once, I won't give him a second chance. I can't trust him, I have seen how low he has fallen & I just can't deal with that...

Multiple personalities

2006-02-01T14:56:00.000-08:00

I was online the other night when my ex-boyfriend Scott (the cheater) started talking to me, not knowing it was me. I decided to keep chatting with him and really gave him a peace of my mind...he denied everything that had happened. I finally told him that I was my cousin, Vanessa (who does not exist). He pretty much told my cousin, I mean me! lol that I wasn't right for him because I was not self sufficient, because I was living with my father. That I had married a junkie, Vanessa made sure to clarify that my ex was not always a junkie, that once upon a time he was a wonderful man. He also mentioned that fact that when we were going out I left my kids with my father, my mother in law or sitters...Hello! What am I supposed to do? Bring them on my date.
Vanessa decided to tell some white lies...of our own. She told him that I had bought a house, had met a wonderful guy & that my divorce was finally final... He called me within 5 minutes to verify the what Vanessa had told him. I verified everything and then he tried to get back in with me...I was so good, I did not let him break me. It did however opened freshly mended wounds...
I miss him, but I have convinced myself that I lust for him and that I am so much better off without him.

One last time on S...

2005-12-31T16:19:00.000-08:00

I just need to get one more thing out of my chest!
Why? Who was she? How many? Why did he tell me he loved me? Why did he insist on being exclusive? Why did he talk to me the way he did?
Why are material things so important to him? Why does he assume that I never had does things? Why do I not hurt but can't get him out of my mind? I know for certain that he will never call me again...and that bothers me more than anything!
As I writing this I realize that he is so not worthy of me & my thoughts & time!
Just had to get it out one last time!

Happy New Year & my resolutions

2005-12-31T15:00:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

Here are my resolutions for 2006...not necessarily in order of importance!

- Put my thoughts on Blogger.com
- Get in shape
- Spend more time & have more patience with my kiddos
- Put the last two bad relationships out of my mind for good
- Find true love
- Get better organized
- Get my own place

and now is time to PARTY!!!

good girl tries bad girl

2005-12-30T17:30:00.000-08:00

Dating has been more complicated than expected...why is it that if a woman knows what she wants sexually & gets it, she is considered a slut?But if a man does the same thing he is a stud?

I decided to find some friends with benefits...

I have been with M,L,J & S...for now I am going to focus on S...

39, 6'0,divorced, no children, Sexy, aggressive & everything I wanted and did not want. Sex with him was amazing but really that is about all that was good between us. He traveled out of town on business all the time, so time with him was precious. We had discussed certain things about the future...it included being exclusive.
He came in town for Christmas, spent Christmas night with him. He made a date with me for the following Tuesday...had not heard from him, I called & texted him. Decided to drive to his place...knocked on his door, rang the doorbell, his truck was there.Went in through the garage, had been told to use it before...there were a pair of woman's shoes by the stair & his bedroom door was ajar...I peaked in & said hello...couldn't see a thing! I waited in the kitchen, he came out naked and said "You are still here?" "Nobody comes into my house" "Get the fuck out of my house!" Well...that felt real special!!! I texted & called him, he wouldn't talk to me but he texted me! and he tried to turn it around on me. I told him I was too good for him, that he needed to practice on his communication & honesty...oh! and that he was almost 40yrs old,no meaningful relationship, no children & a pothead.He said that he owned his own house, made $125k+ a year & did not had to depend on his parents for shit. I told him that I was happy for him & he said that I shouldn't critize what I did not have. I told him that I did have all of those things at one time & that what I have left over is worth so much more. Don't critize me and let's walk away!

I know that the sex was great with him...One of my best friend tells me that I have the best insticts of anyone she has ever met & that I should always follow them...I did not with this last person...I used him but not as much as he used me. I am a big believer in what goes around comes around.

I know that I was not at fault and I really wish that I could talk to him again and ask him WHY? But if I call him he'll think that I am hung up on him when in reality I am disgusted and would really like to know how many women there were? He is the kind of man that would never admit he screwed up and is so full of himself that he thinks he is perfect and I am the one who is missing out. I am not sad, heartbroken or even mad I just wish I knew why he did it? I guess I will never find out...

I went to the doctor & got tested the next day...Will get the results next week...I just pray I did not get anything from him!

my children

2005-12-30T16:27:00.000-08:00

My children are with me...but I tell you one thing, they have no idea that I am dating and have not met any of the men I have dated... and it will continue to be that way until I am certain I have found the one!

and the dating begins

2005-12-30T16:09:00.000-08:00

Filed for divorce April of 2005 after being separated since June 2004. Started dating June 2005.
Met these men online...nice men but here is a little about them...

Lloyd - divorced, 3 sons,told me he was 41, when I met him, I thought "hmmm...looks older"...sure enough 51!

Rich - 33,never married, nice guy, too hyper,too possessive & infatuated with Latina women,did I mention I was Latina?

Robert L. - 37, going through 2nd divorce, 4 children, shortest man I have dated, 5'8,I know,I know...I am only 5'2 but I like my men tall. He wined me & dined me, nailed me and then dumped me...it's okay, it wasn't that great & I consider him my liberator! Why?I hadn't had SEX in 9 months!

Robert - 37, never married,two children, opposite to Robert L., though the same age. Might as well have been 18. Wanted to have sex on our first date & not use protection to booth!

Joe - or Jojo, 44,never married, never met him but he did send me flowers. He was a grouch but had this amazing voice!

Ryan - "the kid",29,never been married and immature as hell. I did sleep with him...he begged 4 more but I couldn't face another unfulfilled session...lol!

My life in a nutshell

2005-12-30T15:48:00.000-08:00

Let's see...
I was married to wonderful man, had the fairy tale life (or as close as it gets). Had the big house, two new cars, two wonderful children involved in all kinds of activities, great friends and then it all came crashing down and I asked my husband to leave June 2004. Lost the house, the cars, my husband. Moved in with my father... but I tell you what I managed to hold on to my children, my sanity & all of my friends & his! not to mention $25,000.00 worth of debt!

Why did I ask my husband to leave?
Well money was dissapearing at an alarming rate & his behavior was way off.
A month after I asked him to leave I found out that he was addicted to pain killers (Vicodin) & muscle relaxers (Somas),he was taking about 25 a day @ $3.00 a pop (you do the math).
He agreed to go into drug rehab...he was there for about a month and came out and promised me the world...
That didn't last long...he went back to drugs, impersonated his brother (federal offense,forged his signature on government documents),has numerous warrants for his arrest, has stolen from his parents & myself. Moved back in with his parents, is running around with a married woman and does not help me monetarily.
My divorce is not coming fast enough!

Introducing Suburbschic

2005-12-30T15:14:00.000-08:00

Hello...
My name for these purposes will be Suburbschic.
I am a 35 year old female, mother of two beautiful, intelligent children. I am in the financial sector & I am finalizing my divorce, after 11 years of marriage.
I have decide that writing a blog will be one of my new years' resolutions. I have a very exclusive set of friends, whom I have had for many years, but because of the changes in my life in the last year and a half, it is better for me to put my thoughts & adventures here than on them.